Sticks and stones may break bones...

Sticks and stones may break bones...

There is a reason that schools are so adamant about the "no bullying" policy. Words hurt. They do. They can cut so deep that they leave psychological scars that a person carries for the rest of their life. You have to try and let go -get over it - and some teens aren't equip with the resources to know how to do this in a healthy manner. There is a reason teen suicide, pregnancy, drinking, cutting, and drugs are becoming major problems in the United States. They are the results of what we teens have believed to be temporary (or not so temporary) coping mechanisms.

I have lost several friends - Micheal Molenaar, and Lawrence Shen - to suicide. They believed life was too difficult to handle, and that they were worthless. People do not just believe this over night. It has to be drilled into their mind, over a long period of time. They feel like there is no other way to find peace. They were bullied 24/7 for years...I observed it. Although I do not EVER approve of what they did, I can see where they were coming from. Words hurt, they are more powerful than people would like to believe. The smallest insult, no matter what the pretext, or how jokingly said, can be extremely painful.

Just the other day, I was working the drive through at chick-fil-a. My week had been pretty bad as it was, but then, I had customer after angry customer. One went as far as to say "f*** off" after I told him to have a nice day. This shocked me; it hurt me. I didn't even know the man, and I would probably never see him again. But it really did ruin my day, I was emotionally scarred. If that can happen to me from a stranger, imagine how much worse it would be from a friend or family member.

Now, words also have an opposite effect. When someone hears words of encouragement  a compliment, a thank you, it can seriously mean the world to them. Just because you "think" something nice in your head, if you don't say it out loud it is no good to anyone. Next time, when you think of something nice to say. SAY IT. You never know if you will see that person again. Things happen, life is short - watch what you say, and how you say it. You never know what heart you may be breaking, or day you may be making.

I will always be there

When you fall down
I'll be there to pick you up
When you loose your way
I'll be there to lead you on
When you slow down
I'll help you pick up the pace
When you are sad
I'll help put a smile on you face
When your mad
I'll help you calm down
When your world is too silent
I'll fill it with sound
When you loose hope
I'll be your light in the darkness
When your hard to reach
I'll still be knocking on your door
When your searching
I'll help you find what your looking for
When your sick
I'll help you get well
When you need a voice
I'll help you yell
When every things all wrong
I'll help make it alright
When you feel alone
I'll be by your side
I'll be with you
When ever you cry
When your world is grey
I'll be your sun
When your world us dull
I'll help make it fun
When I'm on your mind
You are also on mine
I will always care
I will always be there,
when you need me
I swear :)

Entertainment Mirroring Reality

Entertainment Mirroring Reality

Humans love to be entertained, especially by stories. If we didn't, we wouldn't have so many forms of this amusement - movies, plays, televisions shows, books. A common theme in our well cherished entertainment is good and evil. It doesn't seem to matter what the genre is, or what era it was created, or who or what the characters are. Whether the guy gets the girls or losses her, the hero saves the day or tragically dies, governments rise or fall, communities begin or end, among other common plots; these events are fundamentally a result of human choices.

In the real world, we don't have things like super heroes and heroines, witches and wizards, or other things shown in modern entertainment. But, ultimately, films, books and television shows mirror real life. Our struggles we face day to day make the characters struggles more relatable. Every choice we make in our personal lives are similar to the choices made by the characters. We love the drama of watching the poor unknowing character's downfall or rise to fame.

A piece of entertainment is not "entertaining" if you don't make some kind of deeper emotional connection with the character. And how do the creators of our entertainment do create this profound connection? Writers make the story relatable, by making it similar to real life. This has been the reason for appeal of our entertainment for centuries.

Job vs. Vocation

Job vs. Vocation

“You live longer once you realize that any time spent being unhappy is wasted.”~Ruth E. Renkl

Money. All people come into contact with it; whether buying a car or a home, borrowing money for college, buying food to eat, all humans at one time or another are effected by it. And how do they get it? Well- if they are honest citizens- they get a job.

What does one do at a job? Work, work, and work. But, doesn't that have such a boring connotation? Work. The dictionary defines it as: exertion or effort directed to produce or accomplish something; labor; toil. Ugh. Labor, toil. Once someone- usually a teenager- gets a job at a food or retail store, and what then? They work from age 16 to age 65, and then retire. Doesn't that seem so...monotonous. Logically, people need to live, in order to do that they need money, in order to get that they need a job, and when they retire, what then? What if there was something more?


I want to do something with my life. I want to feel like my life has meaning, I am doing something worth while. I don't want to waste away, saying things like "do you want fries with that?" until I am 65. So, is there an alternative?

Let's take a look at another word. Vocation. It's definition is: a particular occupation, business, or profession; calling. Or, a strong impulse or inclination to follow a particular activity or career.

Hm.

So, toil versus calling, labor versus inclination, a job versus a vocation.

I don't know about you, but I would much rather have a vocation, a calling, a dream realized, a purpose in life, than a cyclical monotony of work. Wouldn't it be amazing to get paid to do what you love? Don't you think it would make life that much more worth while? And the work you did would have so much more passion behind it.

Shifting Paradigms: Moving Across the Country

Shifting Paradigms: Moving Across the Country

Moving. Some people do it multiple times, some people never have to. Moving is hard no matter how big the change is - another city, another state, or another country. It is not only a change in geographical location, it changes a paradigm.

Personally, I moved from Scottsdale, Arizona - the state where I grew up- to Alpharetta, Georgia in June 2012. There are both benefits and draw backs to a move, but one of the biggest changes I experienced was a paradigm shift.

Before I moved, I didn't really enjoy where I lived. The dry and dismal desert seemed to suck the life out of everyone living in it. Everyone I knew wished they could move out of the awful heat somewhere else. They all felt hopelessly stuck.

When I moved, I met new people, and was emerged into a different culture. In my opinion, people I met in Arizona - albeit not everyone- were always in such a rush, they were in their own little worlds; they were generally very quiet, and didn't have much drive. In Georgia, the majority of people I've met are very kind and talkative. Instead of being very quick to do anything, they love to drag on conversations. For example, a stranger in a grocery store in Georgia will start up a conversation with you like they have known you forever, while a stranger in a grocery store in Arizona looks straight ahead and doesn't even acknowledge your existence.  People in Georgia also seem to have a single particular thing that they are extremely passionate about - sports, drama, debate, an instrument or choir, as well as many other things. In Arizona people still had interests, but they were not as adamant about a single passion. There is some thing very inspiring when someone is enthusiastic about what they love. They seem to have a special spark. This change didn't teach me what you might think. Although there where many prominent differences between states, one of the things I learned was that humans are all fundamentally the same. As Colin Raye wrote, "I laugh, I love, I hope, I try, I hurt, I need, I fear, I cry. And I know you do the same things too, So we are really not that different, me and you."

One of these similarities that I have noticed, is that all people I have met in both states seem to have dissatisfaction. Whether people wanted to move states, move jobs, move schools, have a different family or friend set, or need a pay raise, they were always left wanting something other than what they had. Oprah Winfrey stated “Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough”. I like this quote because honestly, if you keep noticing what you don't have, and are blind to the gifts you have been given, you will never be happy or satisfied. When I saw that complaining occurs in both states it taught me to be thankful for the move to Georgia, and truly not to take anything for granted. I hated leaving my friends and extended family, but I also gained a lot when I moved. I have learned how to be content with my current circumstances.

These two lessons - being content with what I have, and all humans are fundamentally the same - have probably changed my life forever. This wouldn't have happened if I hadn't moved. So, I am thankful that I did move. It wasn't fun, it wasn't easy, but it was worth it. It was eye opening.

Sources:
http://www.actionext.com/names_c/collin_raye_lyrics/were_really_not_that_different.html
http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/27075-be-thankful-for-what-you-have-you-ll-end-up-having

Fall

Fall

Colors of fire breath what little warmth remains,

Into the freezing picturesc beauty of Fall,

The leaves like heat sapped embers, release their stains,

The crisp cold hunger of winter can no longer stall,

It devours the short lived wonder of spewing gem-tones,

Trees left dead looking, in the frost of December,

They shiver and rattle their barren bones,

Their lovely color, a mere thing to remember.